Axis Retreat - part two :O)
Where did I leave off? I think I left off purposely at the prophesy which was taped and I intend to transcribe later tonight and post of it. So, after prayer was dinner which was set up formally. All our meals prior were, show up, sit down, someone brings the plate. I ended up at a table with Jen, Fernando, Lupe, and actually several people I didn't know.
At some point we ended up meeting Fred and Adrian. They are both awesome. Fred goes to Moody to pursue theology. The first thing I noticed about him were his friendly eyes - he just looks like he's done a lot of laughing in his life so far... he just seemed very warm. Adrian is this amazing guy who has been living here I believe five years - he was born in Romania.. I noticed first the thousand watt smile that's *always* on his face. His laugh is this awesome jovial guffaw. It's great! That evening we all had a fantastic dinner than included our own communion at our table - we broke the bread ourselves, poured the juice, and actually took it as part of our meal, and instead of focusing internally we were told to take it in community - you know, during conversation. Oh, oh. Matt - our worship leader - was sittin with us. We had a huge discussion of our worship songs and what works and what doesn't and he told us about living in London - omg, I wish I could go there for 6 months like he did.. his wife was on rotation at her job and had to go international for 6 months to learn that part of the business. He said he did "nothing" but sightsee, write songs, and study (theology). Wow.. to get to talk to this guy who seriously I've only stared up at on the stage and had an idea or a concept of who he is based on the things he'd say before songs... it's really a feeling of being very included. Anyway. Dinner was one of the most enjoyable meals of my life, I think. We just had several individuals we didn't know end up at the table and then had really open, honest conversations that I don't think often happen.Then we went right to the room we convened in and we had worship. Not just like, sit in your chair and sing worship. It was just an open room and we were instructed to do whatEVER we wanted to do, however we needed to worship. In freedom. Some people laid down. Some sat. Some like me stood the entire time. And honestly, I have never heard such a (small) group of people - 200-250 of us, in a relatively too-big room, fill a room with such loud praise. It was amazing, seriously. I couldn't help but notice Adrian too, he was almost right in front of me and he was kneeling and I could hear his beautiful accent singing and just.. honestly it kinda touched me in this weird way. Like the intimacy of the moment in the whole room was overwhelming. Everyone was like... unguarded. I know it sounds funny >.>
After worship Lupe and I hooked up with Adrian, Jen and Fred again and mutually decided to play Mafia. I love Mafia! We got a group together, and we played for quite a while -it was sooo fun. Lots of people I didn't know were playing and it really gave me the opportunity to get to hang out with cool new people and get to know them. I got to know Jen a lot better and it turns out she is into missions! She is like me, she doesn't want to go to some foreign country and tell them they're wrong in how they live and just randomly tell them about God from some streetcorner; she wants to go teach and make friendships and relationships and share God's love by DOING things for them, and answering any questions they have about God. She's amazing. She has almost gone to three different places in the last year and had it fall through due to paperwork, funding, and in one case, civil war. She said that through the weekend God had revealed to her that it is NOT her time to go anywhere, and that she needs to stay and develop the relationship with Him further. I think it's great cuz she seems to really want to do this but she is doing it FOR God and letting Him change her mind. I admired that so much. AND she has connections with a group that sends missionaries to Africa. I told her prior to her telling me that, that I have been waiting to go to hopefully Uganda because I feel when the time is right, God is gonna drop the opportunity right in my lap and *demand* I take it. He will make the way - he just WILL. And that so far, nothing has come along. And then she said maybe she's supposed to be that sign or whatever. She told me that she went through training for the trips and that in itself was sooooo advantageous and informative and it definitely lets you see if you're ready or not. She encouraged me to hook up with a group and do some training to see if I'm *ready*. I couldn't believe I just randomly met this girl, you know? I told her I'd love to have lunch with her sometime and hear more about her experiences, her networking/connections, and why she feels led to go overseas, etc. Because people treat me like I'm nuts when I finally reveal to them that God put a country I like, never heard of before on my mind when I was younger out of nowhere. I mean - Uganda. WHY Uganda? *shrug* So maybe I'm not nuts? After Mafia quieted down around 11, Adrian and I were sitting in the corner talking. I noticed in the weekend that I got to know people on a level that I don't normally get to know a stranger, you know? He told me about his family; his coming here; his job (home repair stuff); living with a roommate he can't stand; his feelings about the prayer/prophesy, etc. (basically that it was going to be like a fortune cookie that just compliments you or whatever) -- just stuff that went a lot deeper than I expected it to. I told him some of what they had told me in the prayer room, and how scared I was to have gone without knowing a soul. Jen, he and Fred came together basically. They've known each other for a while. Then he told me he goes to church at Harvest on Sundays with Fred and Jen and Fred's brother and that he loves Axis but gets great Sunday teaching from Harvest, and invited me to go with them. So I said yes. I told him I love the city but have no one to show me around in my own city. Neither of us has had company to go to museums or the Shedd aquarium or anything and I mentioned that I had been wanting to go there to Shedd for some time but had no one to go with too. So I totally hope that we get to hang out and go to Shedd sometime.
OK so I'll let on one thing the prayer people said to me. He said, "Are you a dancer? Because I just... I feel like you are. But that you are holding back. And I think maybe you need to turn on some music in your room, shut the door, and do your thing joyfully in front of God. I think He would be blessed by that and so would you. You have to ask yourself what you're waiting for. Why you hold back." And I just laughed so hard (in a good way) because dancing is the one thing that I just find fun that I *can't* do because of self consciousness (ok, along with wearing a swimsuit in public...). To hear that God... God WANTS me to dance. He WANTS me to quit hiding in the corner hating myself. He WANTS me to do it. It was so interesting and.. freeing. After Adrian and I talked for about an hour Fred said he was going to bed, and Lupe and I were walkin around withAdrian and Nate.. we passed by the bar at the resort there, and Bon Jovi's umm "You Give Love a Bad Name" came on. I paused and Lupe, who is this hip, dance-like-nobodys-watching Latina grabs my hand and says, "I'm not tired. You wanna go in?" Adrian and Nate followed us into the bar/lounge and Lupe was like "This is for stupid boys!" and we danced around a bit and sang. We were just goin to go in for one song but we ended up staying quite a while. They played a song that just cracks me up ["What is love, baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more"] so I started mock-dancing like that awful comedy the song is in.. and Lupe pulls me out onto the dance floor and I just proceeded to bust a move. For like two hours. Lupe scolded me for saying I have no rhythm, which I've been told REPEATEDLY that I don't have so I mean, I thought I didn't, but apparently I do. Finally around 1:45 we called it a night and Adrian walked us to our room and we said goodnight. Ann and Serena were asleep so Lupe and I got in bed quietly and we talked in whispers for about an hour. We talked about how thankful we were to find someone we can relate to so strongly, and she thanked me. Said that she was honored I would trust her so quickly and that I was so friendly and warm all weekend, and how I are such an extrovert, so outgoing. All weekend, I felt 100% comfortable any time I was with Lupe, and when I wasn't, I felt great too. Like I was worthy of being there, not scared sitting in the corner afraid to open up. Anyway, it was a sweet moment and then I just prayed, "God, give me peace" and fell asleep instantly.
Sunday... up early for a shower and to straighten my hair... then breakfast with Fernando and Lupe and a few others. It was rushed that morning - we only had til noon. We had an amazing teaching that was... well, I have FOUR pages of notes on it. I'm going to write about it in it's own entry and reflect on it later. But it was great - we had 45 min of discussion with our tables.. the three of us (Lupe, Fernando, me, like it was ALL weekend) along w/ two people we had never met and Matt, our worship leader, who led discussion. The theology that was involved was confusing but at the same time, important. So we sorted through it. Learned a lot. Then.. *sniffle*... our FINAL worship session was an hour later. It was THE most intense worship I have experienced in years. I just felt like I was looking around at people who were different than they were Friday night. Just everything seemed so powerful that I could tell just by looking around that everyone was influenced by God in the weekend. *smile* After that, Darren, talked to us about his vision for Axis' future. Then Kristin, this wonderful woman who actually convinced me to go to the retreat (she works the Info booth after Axis, and she encouraged me big-time) got up there and talked about her vision for REACH which is the serving ministry. We got to check off if we wanted to be contacted to help and of course, I do. I'll do whatever they need me to do.Then it was back to our rooms to pack and checkout. Soo sad. I wanted the weekend to NEVER END. We all decided to meet in the lobby and then mutually decided the 8 of us would go out to eat on the way home. We had a string of like 7 cars following each other [which is a VERY difficult thing to do, lol! We had to pull over 2x cuz we lost a few cars at a light] back into Fox Lake, Illinois to have lunch at this diner. At the diner, I sat by Adrian and Andy, we all reflected and Jen, Adrian, and Fred told us more about the Bible study they do on Saturday nights after Axis. Apparently, they attend together, then they go The Living Room to talk with other people, and then they gather for a bible study together, which seems like it's sorta led by Fred cuz he seems to be chocked full of Moody-Bible-Institute-Knowledge hehe, and then they go out. Then Sunday morning, they all attend Harvest together. So this weekend, that's my plan. I promised I'd give it a shot and I really can't wait to get to know all of them better.
Yeah. I think that's it. If I didn't put all this stuff down, I'd probably forget. Stupid bad memory :)
At some point we ended up meeting Fred and Adrian. They are both awesome. Fred goes to Moody to pursue theology. The first thing I noticed about him were his friendly eyes - he just looks like he's done a lot of laughing in his life so far... he just seemed very warm. Adrian is this amazing guy who has been living here I believe five years - he was born in Romania.. I noticed first the thousand watt smile that's *always* on his face. His laugh is this awesome jovial guffaw. It's great! That evening we all had a fantastic dinner than included our own communion at our table - we broke the bread ourselves, poured the juice, and actually took it as part of our meal, and instead of focusing internally we were told to take it in community - you know, during conversation. Oh, oh. Matt - our worship leader - was sittin with us. We had a huge discussion of our worship songs and what works and what doesn't and he told us about living in London - omg, I wish I could go there for 6 months like he did.. his wife was on rotation at her job and had to go international for 6 months to learn that part of the business. He said he did "nothing" but sightsee, write songs, and study (theology). Wow.. to get to talk to this guy who seriously I've only stared up at on the stage and had an idea or a concept of who he is based on the things he'd say before songs... it's really a feeling of being very included. Anyway. Dinner was one of the most enjoyable meals of my life, I think. We just had several individuals we didn't know end up at the table and then had really open, honest conversations that I don't think often happen.Then we went right to the room we convened in and we had worship. Not just like, sit in your chair and sing worship. It was just an open room and we were instructed to do whatEVER we wanted to do, however we needed to worship. In freedom. Some people laid down. Some sat. Some like me stood the entire time. And honestly, I have never heard such a (small) group of people - 200-250 of us, in a relatively too-big room, fill a room with such loud praise. It was amazing, seriously. I couldn't help but notice Adrian too, he was almost right in front of me and he was kneeling and I could hear his beautiful accent singing and just.. honestly it kinda touched me in this weird way. Like the intimacy of the moment in the whole room was overwhelming. Everyone was like... unguarded. I know it sounds funny >.>
After worship Lupe and I hooked up with Adrian, Jen and Fred again and mutually decided to play Mafia. I love Mafia! We got a group together, and we played for quite a while -it was sooo fun. Lots of people I didn't know were playing and it really gave me the opportunity to get to hang out with cool new people and get to know them. I got to know Jen a lot better and it turns out she is into missions! She is like me, she doesn't want to go to some foreign country and tell them they're wrong in how they live and just randomly tell them about God from some streetcorner; she wants to go teach and make friendships and relationships and share God's love by DOING things for them, and answering any questions they have about God. She's amazing. She has almost gone to three different places in the last year and had it fall through due to paperwork, funding, and in one case, civil war. She said that through the weekend God had revealed to her that it is NOT her time to go anywhere, and that she needs to stay and develop the relationship with Him further. I think it's great cuz she seems to really want to do this but she is doing it FOR God and letting Him change her mind. I admired that so much. AND she has connections with a group that sends missionaries to Africa. I told her prior to her telling me that, that I have been waiting to go to hopefully Uganda because I feel when the time is right, God is gonna drop the opportunity right in my lap and *demand* I take it. He will make the way - he just WILL. And that so far, nothing has come along. And then she said maybe she's supposed to be that sign or whatever. She told me that she went through training for the trips and that in itself was sooooo advantageous and informative and it definitely lets you see if you're ready or not. She encouraged me to hook up with a group and do some training to see if I'm *ready*. I couldn't believe I just randomly met this girl, you know? I told her I'd love to have lunch with her sometime and hear more about her experiences, her networking/connections, and why she feels led to go overseas, etc. Because people treat me like I'm nuts when I finally reveal to them that God put a country I like, never heard of before on my mind when I was younger out of nowhere. I mean - Uganda. WHY Uganda? *shrug* So maybe I'm not nuts? After Mafia quieted down around 11, Adrian and I were sitting in the corner talking. I noticed in the weekend that I got to know people on a level that I don't normally get to know a stranger, you know? He told me about his family; his coming here; his job (home repair stuff); living with a roommate he can't stand; his feelings about the prayer/prophesy, etc. (basically that it was going to be like a fortune cookie that just compliments you or whatever) -- just stuff that went a lot deeper than I expected it to. I told him some of what they had told me in the prayer room, and how scared I was to have gone without knowing a soul. Jen, he and Fred came together basically. They've known each other for a while. Then he told me he goes to church at Harvest on Sundays with Fred and Jen and Fred's brother and that he loves Axis but gets great Sunday teaching from Harvest, and invited me to go with them. So I said yes. I told him I love the city but have no one to show me around in my own city. Neither of us has had company to go to museums or the Shedd aquarium or anything and I mentioned that I had been wanting to go there to Shedd for some time but had no one to go with too. So I totally hope that we get to hang out and go to Shedd sometime.
OK so I'll let on one thing the prayer people said to me. He said, "Are you a dancer? Because I just... I feel like you are. But that you are holding back. And I think maybe you need to turn on some music in your room, shut the door, and do your thing joyfully in front of God. I think He would be blessed by that and so would you. You have to ask yourself what you're waiting for. Why you hold back." And I just laughed so hard (in a good way) because dancing is the one thing that I just find fun that I *can't* do because of self consciousness (ok, along with wearing a swimsuit in public...). To hear that God... God WANTS me to dance. He WANTS me to quit hiding in the corner hating myself. He WANTS me to do it. It was so interesting and.. freeing. After Adrian and I talked for about an hour Fred said he was going to bed, and Lupe and I were walkin around withAdrian and Nate.. we passed by the bar at the resort there, and Bon Jovi's umm "You Give Love a Bad Name" came on. I paused and Lupe, who is this hip, dance-like-nobodys-watching Latina grabs my hand and says, "I'm not tired. You wanna go in?" Adrian and Nate followed us into the bar/lounge and Lupe was like "This is for stupid boys!" and we danced around a bit and sang. We were just goin to go in for one song but we ended up staying quite a while. They played a song that just cracks me up ["What is love, baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more"] so I started mock-dancing like that awful comedy the song is in.. and Lupe pulls me out onto the dance floor and I just proceeded to bust a move. For like two hours. Lupe scolded me for saying I have no rhythm, which I've been told REPEATEDLY that I don't have so I mean, I thought I didn't, but apparently I do. Finally around 1:45 we called it a night and Adrian walked us to our room and we said goodnight. Ann and Serena were asleep so Lupe and I got in bed quietly and we talked in whispers for about an hour. We talked about how thankful we were to find someone we can relate to so strongly, and she thanked me. Said that she was honored I would trust her so quickly and that I was so friendly and warm all weekend, and how I are such an extrovert, so outgoing. All weekend, I felt 100% comfortable any time I was with Lupe, and when I wasn't, I felt great too. Like I was worthy of being there, not scared sitting in the corner afraid to open up. Anyway, it was a sweet moment and then I just prayed, "God, give me peace" and fell asleep instantly.
Sunday... up early for a shower and to straighten my hair... then breakfast with Fernando and Lupe and a few others. It was rushed that morning - we only had til noon. We had an amazing teaching that was... well, I have FOUR pages of notes on it. I'm going to write about it in it's own entry and reflect on it later. But it was great - we had 45 min of discussion with our tables.. the three of us (Lupe, Fernando, me, like it was ALL weekend) along w/ two people we had never met and Matt, our worship leader, who led discussion. The theology that was involved was confusing but at the same time, important. So we sorted through it. Learned a lot. Then.. *sniffle*... our FINAL worship session was an hour later. It was THE most intense worship I have experienced in years. I just felt like I was looking around at people who were different than they were Friday night. Just everything seemed so powerful that I could tell just by looking around that everyone was influenced by God in the weekend. *smile* After that, Darren, talked to us about his vision for Axis' future. Then Kristin, this wonderful woman who actually convinced me to go to the retreat (she works the Info booth after Axis, and she encouraged me big-time) got up there and talked about her vision for REACH which is the serving ministry. We got to check off if we wanted to be contacted to help and of course, I do. I'll do whatever they need me to do.Then it was back to our rooms to pack and checkout. Soo sad. I wanted the weekend to NEVER END. We all decided to meet in the lobby and then mutually decided the 8 of us would go out to eat on the way home. We had a string of like 7 cars following each other [which is a VERY difficult thing to do, lol! We had to pull over 2x cuz we lost a few cars at a light] back into Fox Lake, Illinois to have lunch at this diner. At the diner, I sat by Adrian and Andy, we all reflected and Jen, Adrian, and Fred told us more about the Bible study they do on Saturday nights after Axis. Apparently, they attend together, then they go The Living Room to talk with other people, and then they gather for a bible study together, which seems like it's sorta led by Fred cuz he seems to be chocked full of Moody-Bible-Institute-Knowledge hehe, and then they go out. Then Sunday morning, they all attend Harvest together. So this weekend, that's my plan. I promised I'd give it a shot and I really can't wait to get to know all of them better.
Yeah. I think that's it. If I didn't put all this stuff down, I'd probably forget. Stupid bad memory :)
posted by Oblivion.. at 11:16 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home