obligatory monday-AM post
I'mma get the complaining out first. I have had a headache since yesterday at 3pm. I've tried anti-inflammatories, muscle relaxers, advil, insane amounts of caffeine so far this AM, and as of tomorrow I'll try the chiropractor. Which kinda sucks because tomorrow is my day off this week and I have a big math test, and didn't want to have to take my 2-3 spare afternoon hours tomorrow to go see the chiro. Ew, in fact, maybe I won't. It's Doc working, not Jamie. I don't like her nearly as much. Ugh, forget that. Here's hoping it goes away before tomorrow.
Anyhoo.
This weekend was good. Friday after work I took a realllly long, hot shower, and afterwards it felt like the forces of the universe were working towards not allowing me rest. I had determined I was not gonna do anything but catch up on rest, and as soon as I started dozing off around 5 my friend Jen called, but I couldn't find the phone and missed her call and started falling back aseep. Then 6:15 rolls around and the phone rings again - number I didn't recognize. The caller goes, Hey do you know who this is? and I'm like dude I have no idea but you just woke me up, lol. It was Ryan! This guy that Laura and I were friends with in high school when we were homeschooled. We were buddies with him and his friend Chris. Our parents would make us go out bowling with the homeschool group and the four of us would escape and walk around the city we bowled in for hours. One night we got in so much trouble because we were late getting back and no one knew where we were, haha. They were two of the nicest guys ever. I went to ska shows with them, too, except Laura's mom wouldn't let her go. I remember we went to see the W's (?) - they sang this goofy song "the devil is bad". I was rockin' my Jnco's (sp?) - each leg was bigger than my entire body and they had this one blue "wave" pattern down the front/side. I loved those things. and I stole my dad's big white dress shirts and wore a necktie to one of the shows. Yes, I was Avril Lavigne. Haha. Urgh. Anyway Ryan and I caught up and he invited me out to billiards with he and his fiancee, but I realized my hair was wet and up in a towel still and frizzed, and there was no way I could pull myself together in time, so I turned him down and told him definitely next weekend or something. It was hard to say no, but I knew I needed to rest. I put on PJs and curled up in bed with the remote. I got through last week's Lost.. OMG.. Sawyer.. you're so naughty yet I adore you so.. *sigh* It was insane. Watched some SVU and Crossing Jordan, and then turned out the lights around 10:30. Fell asleep. Then at midnight my phone rang. Oh, for the love of Bog, right? I should stop telling people they can call me til midnight. It was Nick, my friend Andrea's brother, who's like a brother to me. He was just getting off work (at the tattoo shop) and wanted to hang out but I told him I was already asleep. We talked for about half an hour about the stupidity of Valentine's Day and how the timing always sucks for us with relationships, but there must be a reason they -relationships- keep falling apart. Finally I was back asleep about 12:30.
At 10am, my phone rang -again-. It was Jen and I made sure to answer because she and I have been playing phone tag lately. She was on her way home from the gym, and we had a really nice discussion about how our past experiences make it easier to comfort and be there for other people going through similiar situations etcetc. She's a very cool girl. After the phone call, I got ready for my day, and then headed over to Tim's house. Not the Tim I've talked about previously; this is a new guy who has been helping me with math, and it was his birthday and he wanted to see me, so I agreed. Urgh, I know he likes me but... he's not really a Christian - he is - but I think he's from a catholic background and he never goes to church or anything like that, so I'm thinkin' *real* hard before I even consider anything more than friends. I told him that I am not interested in dating anyone right now, because I didn't want to get into the faith-conversation. So, he and I chatted, had some lunch, and watched Phantom of the Opera, which was *fantastic* - I can't believe I didn't want to see it! My token gay friend will be so happy to hear I saw it!
Then I rushed rushed rushed to church in the snow. It took me 45 minutes to get from St. Charles to Barrington, and I got to church *right* in time. I met up with Fernando and Andy in the lobby and was soo happy to see them. We caught up real fast, then hooked up with Jen and headed inside to "our row" apparently - front left. Worship began and finally Lupe and Adrian arrived.. both had been stuck in traffic.. and that was the group of us, minus Fred, who was gonna be late. The poor guy has had quite a week. The service started and one of our leaders Shane was talking about debate for some reason and he said we were gonna play a game that required participation (ugh). It was basically three categories of which we liked better, and he asked us to raise our hands for which group we preferred - cubs or sox, lost or 24, and somethin' else. I was one of few that raised mine for Lost, and then Shane called me up onto stage. Eeeeek. Andy and Lupe had to PUSH me up there. I'm petrified of public speaking, crowds, stages, you name it, and I'm afraid of it. I trudged up there and fortunately knew the girl, Wendy, I was "debating" with.. that was helpful. So I had to speak into the mic and say why lost was better and all I could come up with is that it's the best ensemble cast out there right now and there are surprises every week, you never know what's going to happen, and threw in somethin' about Sawyer with the guns and how I wasn't even expecting that. Of course Wendy kicked my arse in the debate by simply asking what would Jack do? LOL. Oh well! The point is, I was on stage in front of hundreds of people and I didn't panic and run off. That's a positive step! Wheee.
The message was about how Jesus healed the leper, and how he first touched him before healing him, and talking about that being how God is with us -- while we're still gross and broken and sinful, he touches us. Anyway, it was a great message, and they showed a bunch of disgusting pictures of people with lepersy (sp?) which was kinda good for me because I have such an interest in medicine and diseases and such. Grossest thing ever ---> Lepers lose feeling in their limbs, mostly fingers and toes.. so in third world countries, lepers often have them gnawed off by rats in the middle of the night, and since they can't feel it to like, push them off, they wake up with parts of their bodies gone. I bet you didn't know that? Tuck that away in the "disgusting things you never really wanted to know" category. After the service, we split up. Lupe, Adrian, Greg, and I headed downstairs to a Good Sense meeting. It was a group of four guys trying to get info on how 20-somethings feel about money. They just wanted our opinions, and views on how to start up a ministry geared towards our age group about good stewardship. We all probably went for the free pizza and pop ;) We discussed some lighthearted questions, like what we'd do with a million dollars [my answers: buy a few houses, one of the west coast, one on the east coast overlooking the ocean where I could write all day, and bank enough money to take trips to and from africa. I'd keep enough to live comfortably and use the rest for ministry. I'd go around and do public speaking to college campuses about what we can do to help end the AIDS pandemic.] and more serious ones like how we would feel if in five years our spending/saving habits/money situation was the same as it is now. I'm anticipating having a crapload of college loans in 5 years, so my financial outlook is pretty sour right now. Anyway, it was a good meeting but it lasted til after nine. Then the group of us plus two guys I didn't really know - Greg and ohman I forgot his name - got together to do our Bible study. We're plugging through Romans. I discovered that Adrian and I's beliefs differ greatly; he's rather fundamentalist (there's nothing wrong with that) and believes in VERY historical gender roles for marriage and family. I personally believe gender roles are not a good thing and people should make their own identities without worrying that society tells them they should be another way. Anyhoo. I found myself agreeing very much with a lot of what Andy said, which didn't surprise me. When we met over Chase Phrase I knew I'd be able to relate to him. I in fact confided in him my pro gay rights stance and how I feel like the phrase love the sinner hate the sin lends itself to judgment. He seems to be a lil' more moderate [if not, respectful of my moderacy]; I love that. I got a lot of GREAT info from Fred, a theology student, about the kind of culture/society that was going on when Paul wrote his letter to the romans. It helps to understand the background info when you're reading the Bible.
[I'm still struggling with the concept of God's wrath. Whether the people in Bible times who wrote the Bible just needed to believe in God's wrath because their culture was so much militaristic and they wanted a God of power and judgment.. or whether God really has wrath.]
At around 10:45 we [minus Andy who lives an hour away] got out of church and headed to
TGIF's. It was insanely busy thanks to Turnabout and we ended up at IHOP cuz we didn't want to wait. I sat by Fred and had a side conversation while Lupe and Adrian debated gender roles (believe me, I don't want to get into it with Adrian. He's stubborn as a bull and raised in a culture where men are dominant and believes in the traditional woman being submissive thing... I was raised to believe I submit only to God). I told Fred that I'm in a unique position having been married before to have a viewpoint about control/submission, and realized when I saw the look on his face that I hadn't told him I'd been divorced. Jen and Andy both knew, I believe, from our convo during Catch Phrase. So I told him the basics, and he was like, I knew there was something different about you than any other 21 year old I've met. Through talking to you I get the impression you've had a lot of brokenness in your life, and this explains that.. etc. He told me it sounds like I'm doing very well with the whole thing and that I don't seem like a bitter person because of it and gave me "props" for that. Anyway, the conversation was definitely brutal because I felt led to confide in him quite a bit to explain my opinion on the whole marriage thing. But hey, it was a great conversation, he was very encouraging to me, and I tried my best to encourage him as well about his nervousness of delivering a sermon at axis_elements, the Tuesday group I go to. We all sat in IHOP til 1, and then I went home to bed by 2.
Sunday morning I got up at 9 and got ready for church. I agreed to go to Harvest with Adrian and Lupe, and my buddy Jon met me at my house at 10:30 so we could carpool there. Worship was great, and led by a fantastic choir, and the sermon was on good stewardship - funny huh? It was very tastefully done, and didn't sound like a demand for tithe, either. The pastor made sure we knew that he knows nothing about the tithes from the church and none of it goes to his paycheck, etc. I found it a very interesting message, and it did make me think through the whole tithe thing. I have never tithed, but after reading through a lot of Proverbs on money I've decided I need to 1) make a budget 2) start saving up some money and 3) begin giving 5-10% (I guess it depends on what my budget comes out to..) to "God's work". I don't think I will do all 10% to my church, though. I'd like to find an AIDS cause to begin donating to monthly. Through the Good Sense meeting Saturday at church they seemed to find no fault with donating to "God's work" rather than just to "God's church", and we should pray about where to put our money towards. The other thing I could do, and the leader of Good Sense approved of this one, would be to start putting a certain % a month off to the side to save for a missions trip. I just found out about a March trip to Kenya to work as AIDS advocates; it's 3500 dollars. It could take me YEARS to save that much. But if I don't start now, I'll never get to go. The only thing I *could* do would be to gain employment someplace like Mercy Ships where I'd be an actual employee 9-5 or whatever, they always need secretaries.. and then volunteer off-hours. That's at least a summer commitment if not a six-month commitment, and that would HAVE to be either between my bachelors and masters, or next summer, which probably won't happen. I'm still too young and too afraid. So I'm thinking it would be like... the summer of 2008 or 2009. But yeah. After church, Jon and I had some us-time. We went to Potbelly and had a long discussion about church and how the only constant within church should be change if the spirit is really moving. Then back to my house. We curled up in bed with my doggie [who loooves Jon] and watched a bit of a movie. I guess I fell asleep cuz later he told me he tucked me in and left, hehe. I have great friends :O) I always have a good friend to cuddle with, you know? It makes me feel very blessed. When I woke up, I took a shower and then got cozy with the heating pad, because I had the worst headache ever. Mom and I watched Desperate Housewives (she was looking online for jobs at the same time but I heard her chuckle a few times.. despite her hate of the concept of the show) and then Dad came in to watch Grey's Anatomy with us. IT... FREAKING... ROCKED. One of the best hours of TV I have seen in A LONG TIME. It was amazing... I'm still speechless! The hot guy from Office Space played a bomb squad dude and when he got the bomb down the hallway.. he a'sploded! It was terrible! I was sobbing. I love that guy! As soon as I saw him walking down the hall I knew he was gonna die. OMG. Heh. And finally Izzy and Alex got it on, lol, in a linen closet - that was hilarious. He's sooo cute, can I just say -- I think I like him more than McDreamy. Meredith and McDreamy had a really cool scene together where he reminded her about their last kiss. ::sniffle::
So, that leads me to here. Monday morning. 10:50. I'm taking break in 10 minutes to go home to get the heating pad and Percocet. I hurt soo bad. I'm trying to numb the pain with a mix Jimmy Eat World, Foo Fighters, Ryan Adams, and Deathcab for Cutie. It's not working, but I am succeeding in annoying all the students in the office by humming along with Transatlanticism. That gives me some amount of pleasure. Breaktime.. Later!!
Anyhoo.
This weekend was good. Friday after work I took a realllly long, hot shower, and afterwards it felt like the forces of the universe were working towards not allowing me rest. I had determined I was not gonna do anything but catch up on rest, and as soon as I started dozing off around 5 my friend Jen called, but I couldn't find the phone and missed her call and started falling back aseep. Then 6:15 rolls around and the phone rings again - number I didn't recognize. The caller goes, Hey do you know who this is? and I'm like dude I have no idea but you just woke me up, lol. It was Ryan! This guy that Laura and I were friends with in high school when we were homeschooled. We were buddies with him and his friend Chris. Our parents would make us go out bowling with the homeschool group and the four of us would escape and walk around the city we bowled in for hours. One night we got in so much trouble because we were late getting back and no one knew where we were, haha. They were two of the nicest guys ever. I went to ska shows with them, too, except Laura's mom wouldn't let her go. I remember we went to see the W's (?) - they sang this goofy song "the devil is bad". I was rockin' my Jnco's (sp?) - each leg was bigger than my entire body and they had this one blue "wave" pattern down the front/side. I loved those things. and I stole my dad's big white dress shirts and wore a necktie to one of the shows. Yes, I was Avril Lavigne. Haha. Urgh. Anyway Ryan and I caught up and he invited me out to billiards with he and his fiancee, but I realized my hair was wet and up in a towel still and frizzed, and there was no way I could pull myself together in time, so I turned him down and told him definitely next weekend or something. It was hard to say no, but I knew I needed to rest. I put on PJs and curled up in bed with the remote. I got through last week's Lost.. OMG.. Sawyer.. you're so naughty yet I adore you so.. *sigh* It was insane. Watched some SVU and Crossing Jordan, and then turned out the lights around 10:30. Fell asleep. Then at midnight my phone rang. Oh, for the love of Bog, right? I should stop telling people they can call me til midnight. It was Nick, my friend Andrea's brother, who's like a brother to me. He was just getting off work (at the tattoo shop) and wanted to hang out but I told him I was already asleep. We talked for about half an hour about the stupidity of Valentine's Day and how the timing always sucks for us with relationships, but there must be a reason they -relationships- keep falling apart. Finally I was back asleep about 12:30.
At 10am, my phone rang -again-. It was Jen and I made sure to answer because she and I have been playing phone tag lately. She was on her way home from the gym, and we had a really nice discussion about how our past experiences make it easier to comfort and be there for other people going through similiar situations etcetc. She's a very cool girl. After the phone call, I got ready for my day, and then headed over to Tim's house. Not the Tim I've talked about previously; this is a new guy who has been helping me with math, and it was his birthday and he wanted to see me, so I agreed. Urgh, I know he likes me but... he's not really a Christian - he is - but I think he's from a catholic background and he never goes to church or anything like that, so I'm thinkin' *real* hard before I even consider anything more than friends. I told him that I am not interested in dating anyone right now, because I didn't want to get into the faith-conversation. So, he and I chatted, had some lunch, and watched Phantom of the Opera, which was *fantastic* - I can't believe I didn't want to see it! My token gay friend will be so happy to hear I saw it!
Then I rushed rushed rushed to church in the snow. It took me 45 minutes to get from St. Charles to Barrington, and I got to church *right* in time. I met up with Fernando and Andy in the lobby and was soo happy to see them. We caught up real fast, then hooked up with Jen and headed inside to "our row" apparently - front left. Worship began and finally Lupe and Adrian arrived.. both had been stuck in traffic.. and that was the group of us, minus Fred, who was gonna be late. The poor guy has had quite a week. The service started and one of our leaders Shane was talking about debate for some reason and he said we were gonna play a game that required participation (ugh). It was basically three categories of which we liked better, and he asked us to raise our hands for which group we preferred - cubs or sox, lost or 24, and somethin' else. I was one of few that raised mine for Lost, and then Shane called me up onto stage. Eeeeek. Andy and Lupe had to PUSH me up there. I'm petrified of public speaking, crowds, stages, you name it, and I'm afraid of it. I trudged up there and fortunately knew the girl, Wendy, I was "debating" with.. that was helpful. So I had to speak into the mic and say why lost was better and all I could come up with is that it's the best ensemble cast out there right now and there are surprises every week, you never know what's going to happen, and threw in somethin' about Sawyer with the guns and how I wasn't even expecting that. Of course Wendy kicked my arse in the debate by simply asking what would Jack do? LOL. Oh well! The point is, I was on stage in front of hundreds of people and I didn't panic and run off. That's a positive step! Wheee.
The message was about how Jesus healed the leper, and how he first touched him before healing him, and talking about that being how God is with us -- while we're still gross and broken and sinful, he touches us. Anyway, it was a great message, and they showed a bunch of disgusting pictures of people with lepersy (sp?) which was kinda good for me because I have such an interest in medicine and diseases and such. Grossest thing ever ---> Lepers lose feeling in their limbs, mostly fingers and toes.. so in third world countries, lepers often have them gnawed off by rats in the middle of the night, and since they can't feel it to like, push them off, they wake up with parts of their bodies gone. I bet you didn't know that? Tuck that away in the "disgusting things you never really wanted to know" category. After the service, we split up. Lupe, Adrian, Greg, and I headed downstairs to a Good Sense meeting. It was a group of four guys trying to get info on how 20-somethings feel about money. They just wanted our opinions, and views on how to start up a ministry geared towards our age group about good stewardship. We all probably went for the free pizza and pop ;) We discussed some lighthearted questions, like what we'd do with a million dollars [my answers: buy a few houses, one of the west coast, one on the east coast overlooking the ocean where I could write all day, and bank enough money to take trips to and from africa. I'd keep enough to live comfortably and use the rest for ministry. I'd go around and do public speaking to college campuses about what we can do to help end the AIDS pandemic.] and more serious ones like how we would feel if in five years our spending/saving habits/money situation was the same as it is now. I'm anticipating having a crapload of college loans in 5 years, so my financial outlook is pretty sour right now. Anyway, it was a good meeting but it lasted til after nine. Then the group of us plus two guys I didn't really know - Greg and ohman I forgot his name - got together to do our Bible study. We're plugging through Romans. I discovered that Adrian and I's beliefs differ greatly; he's rather fundamentalist (there's nothing wrong with that) and believes in VERY historical gender roles for marriage and family. I personally believe gender roles are not a good thing and people should make their own identities without worrying that society tells them they should be another way. Anyhoo. I found myself agreeing very much with a lot of what Andy said, which didn't surprise me. When we met over Chase Phrase I knew I'd be able to relate to him. I in fact confided in him my pro gay rights stance and how I feel like the phrase love the sinner hate the sin lends itself to judgment. He seems to be a lil' more moderate [if not, respectful of my moderacy]; I love that. I got a lot of GREAT info from Fred, a theology student, about the kind of culture/society that was going on when Paul wrote his letter to the romans. It helps to understand the background info when you're reading the Bible.
[I'm still struggling with the concept of God's wrath. Whether the people in Bible times who wrote the Bible just needed to believe in God's wrath because their culture was so much militaristic and they wanted a God of power and judgment.. or whether God really has wrath.]
At around 10:45 we [minus Andy who lives an hour away] got out of church and headed to
TGIF's. It was insanely busy thanks to Turnabout and we ended up at IHOP cuz we didn't want to wait. I sat by Fred and had a side conversation while Lupe and Adrian debated gender roles (believe me, I don't want to get into it with Adrian. He's stubborn as a bull and raised in a culture where men are dominant and believes in the traditional woman being submissive thing... I was raised to believe I submit only to God). I told Fred that I'm in a unique position having been married before to have a viewpoint about control/submission, and realized when I saw the look on his face that I hadn't told him I'd been divorced. Jen and Andy both knew, I believe, from our convo during Catch Phrase. So I told him the basics, and he was like, I knew there was something different about you than any other 21 year old I've met. Through talking to you I get the impression you've had a lot of brokenness in your life, and this explains that.. etc. He told me it sounds like I'm doing very well with the whole thing and that I don't seem like a bitter person because of it and gave me "props" for that. Anyway, the conversation was definitely brutal because I felt led to confide in him quite a bit to explain my opinion on the whole marriage thing. But hey, it was a great conversation, he was very encouraging to me, and I tried my best to encourage him as well about his nervousness of delivering a sermon at axis_elements, the Tuesday group I go to. We all sat in IHOP til 1, and then I went home to bed by 2.
Sunday morning I got up at 9 and got ready for church. I agreed to go to Harvest with Adrian and Lupe, and my buddy Jon met me at my house at 10:30 so we could carpool there. Worship was great, and led by a fantastic choir, and the sermon was on good stewardship - funny huh? It was very tastefully done, and didn't sound like a demand for tithe, either. The pastor made sure we knew that he knows nothing about the tithes from the church and none of it goes to his paycheck, etc. I found it a very interesting message, and it did make me think through the whole tithe thing. I have never tithed, but after reading through a lot of Proverbs on money I've decided I need to 1) make a budget 2) start saving up some money and 3) begin giving 5-10% (I guess it depends on what my budget comes out to..) to "God's work". I don't think I will do all 10% to my church, though. I'd like to find an AIDS cause to begin donating to monthly. Through the Good Sense meeting Saturday at church they seemed to find no fault with donating to "God's work" rather than just to "God's church", and we should pray about where to put our money towards. The other thing I could do, and the leader of Good Sense approved of this one, would be to start putting a certain % a month off to the side to save for a missions trip. I just found out about a March trip to Kenya to work as AIDS advocates; it's 3500 dollars. It could take me YEARS to save that much. But if I don't start now, I'll never get to go. The only thing I *could* do would be to gain employment someplace like Mercy Ships where I'd be an actual employee 9-5 or whatever, they always need secretaries.. and then volunteer off-hours. That's at least a summer commitment if not a six-month commitment, and that would HAVE to be either between my bachelors and masters, or next summer, which probably won't happen. I'm still too young and too afraid. So I'm thinking it would be like... the summer of 2008 or 2009. But yeah. After church, Jon and I had some us-time. We went to Potbelly and had a long discussion about church and how the only constant within church should be change if the spirit is really moving. Then back to my house. We curled up in bed with my doggie [who loooves Jon] and watched a bit of a movie. I guess I fell asleep cuz later he told me he tucked me in and left, hehe. I have great friends :O) I always have a good friend to cuddle with, you know? It makes me feel very blessed. When I woke up, I took a shower and then got cozy with the heating pad, because I had the worst headache ever. Mom and I watched Desperate Housewives (she was looking online for jobs at the same time but I heard her chuckle a few times.. despite her hate of the concept of the show) and then Dad came in to watch Grey's Anatomy with us. IT... FREAKING... ROCKED. One of the best hours of TV I have seen in A LONG TIME. It was amazing... I'm still speechless! The hot guy from Office Space played a bomb squad dude and when he got the bomb down the hallway.. he a'sploded! It was terrible! I was sobbing. I love that guy! As soon as I saw him walking down the hall I knew he was gonna die. OMG. Heh. And finally Izzy and Alex got it on, lol, in a linen closet - that was hilarious. He's sooo cute, can I just say -- I think I like him more than McDreamy. Meredith and McDreamy had a really cool scene together where he reminded her about their last kiss. ::sniffle::
So, that leads me to here. Monday morning. 10:50. I'm taking break in 10 minutes to go home to get the heating pad and Percocet. I hurt soo bad. I'm trying to numb the pain with a mix Jimmy Eat World, Foo Fighters, Ryan Adams, and Deathcab for Cutie. It's not working, but I am succeeding in annoying all the students in the office by humming along with Transatlanticism. That gives me some amount of pleasure. Breaktime.. Later!!
posted by Oblivion.. at 11:59 AM
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