jumbled thoughts
I really want to update here, but I don't know how to organize it. Let's just do this:
1) I'm SURE I bombed my math test yesterday. My teacher is a psycho, and I hate hate her. I went home and sobbed. I don't even want to know how badly I did.
2) Last night's axis_elements went all right but I felt kinda out of place. Everyone is nice, but it's hard to open up about how I feel about a lot of things because I am used to judgment. We did an exercise where we were supposed to circle words we knew to be true of God, like when we are praying, how do we think he is towards us? There were all these adjectives and I blanked out and then kept coming up with opposites.. Loving but Far, kind but harsh.. it was like all the old adjectives of my image of God (old as in before this year - growing up, my childhood, the extreme fundamentalist churches I was raised in) surfaced.. judgmental, harsh.. and these words are getting in the way of me fully understanding God is affirming, accepting, loving, and kind.
3) Other thoughts... someone recently told me that if God does not judge (I'm talking your run of the mill Left-Behind type day-of-judgment thing) then what motivates us to right action? I was just floored by this comment, because obeying or loving God out of fear of judgment is one of the worst motivations I can think of. If I am good or loving or pure or well intentioned or any of that stuff, it is because Jesus was that example and the Spirit within me motivates action because it is right. It has nothing to do with eternity. God's love is a very motivating thing. We did nothing to earn it, and I've been thinkin' a lot lately about how He gave it to us before we ever could have deserved it. How when Jesus got baptised and God's spirit came down as a dove to say God was well pleased, Jesus had not done *any* ministry at that point. When we really feel God's love how can we not love other people in light of that love?
4) I have also had on my mind a lot lately that we need to be careful with the Image of God we project to non-Christians. I don't believe in flat-out missionary stuff, just going out and preaching. I think that you have to develop real relationships with people to determine how to best "minister" to them, and often it's just by our being loving towards them. But I've noticed in my church background and also my family background that the fundamentalist types tend to portray an image of God to people, that tries to make them fear Hell or Eternity or Judgment. Frankly, if I had never been in the church and I was an unbeliever, that image would sure as hell (pun not intended) not make me want to further investigate this God dude. Many people, including myself, are not too concerned about what's *after* this life; what we really care about is this life and how this God person is going to effect it. So maybe we need to make sure people know that being a Christian is about God's unchanging love for us -- that can give us a sense of purpose and freedom and security, that has nothing to do with the afterlife and everything to do with this very instant.
5) *pulls out soapbox* I was thinking more about the blog that Tanya linked to in one of her latest entries about birth control. I am feeling very appreciative we live in a society and a culture where women have control over their destinies in a way we didn't used to. For a long time, the grand purpose of any woman was to bear a ton of children, obviously because we were in an agricultural period and families survived through having children to work. The bible was written in a time period where that's how women were seen, that was their duty. That's just how it was. To hold women in 2006 to ideas/standards from a completely different cultural context is just completely wrong. Progress is healthy, ideal, and *good* -- progress has taken human rights a lot closer to where they should be, than it was in bible times. This includes women and the opportunities they have at their disposal. We don't have to just be Moms now; it's not a forced thing. I'm sure motherhood is *wonderful* and may even discover that myself one day; but it's not the sole purpose for females anymore and it's not the only thing they can be. The power to control procreation is completely amazing when you look at the fact not so long ago, we couldn't even vote. That's progress! It's positive! Just because things aren't how they were in Bible times doesn't mean we're further from God's plan for us-- God's plan IS equal rights, human rights! Anyone who thinks that birth control is against God is highly mistaken, and I'd be willing to bet most of them are men, or women who have been put down so long by men they no longer think they can control their destinies and choices. Any man that thinks every time he gets some within a relationship/marriage, the couple [read: his wife or girlfriend] should be "open" to procreating from that experience, needs to push a 7 pound human being through his genitals. This blogger said that sex is for the purposes of oneness and procreation. And not only is that crap, but it's totally an old-school Catholic idea that is immensely outdated, overly simplistic. and this particular blogger implied it's sinful to want to have sex (with protection) during a woman's ovulation because you are denying one of the reasons to have sex to begin with. *chuckles a little* I mean, it's so archaic that I don't even think I need to justify it with a response.
I wish that birth control was passed around like Advil and was as easy to get ahold of. There would be so much less abortion, if women took charge of their sexuality and their right as a female to protect herself. I think it's inconscienable to deny her of that right or dissuade her from preventative measures to ensure she doesn't have a baby when she's not ready to... just because you are holding her to archaic standards from 2K years ago. If you're going to have an anti-birth control opinion, you better back it up with something.
Just my opinion, of course :) I'm glad to have read that blog because it got me thinking more about the subject, and that's always a good thing.. to form opinions and gain an awareness of issues.
*big smile*
Niles says: Sex stopped being for procreation once we started having complex emotions.
How much do I love this guy?!
6) I am going to go e-mail Altamash now (cute Pakistani guy that asked for my # the other day!). I want to reassure him a little, so that he'll have the nerve to actually call. We exchanged e-mails and numbers.
Later!!
1) I'm SURE I bombed my math test yesterday. My teacher is a psycho, and I hate hate her. I went home and sobbed. I don't even want to know how badly I did.
2) Last night's axis_elements went all right but I felt kinda out of place. Everyone is nice, but it's hard to open up about how I feel about a lot of things because I am used to judgment. We did an exercise where we were supposed to circle words we knew to be true of God, like when we are praying, how do we think he is towards us? There were all these adjectives and I blanked out and then kept coming up with opposites.. Loving but Far, kind but harsh.. it was like all the old adjectives of my image of God (old as in before this year - growing up, my childhood, the extreme fundamentalist churches I was raised in) surfaced.. judgmental, harsh.. and these words are getting in the way of me fully understanding God is affirming, accepting, loving, and kind.
3) Other thoughts... someone recently told me that if God does not judge (I'm talking your run of the mill Left-Behind type day-of-judgment thing) then what motivates us to right action? I was just floored by this comment, because obeying or loving God out of fear of judgment is one of the worst motivations I can think of. If I am good or loving or pure or well intentioned or any of that stuff, it is because Jesus was that example and the Spirit within me motivates action because it is right. It has nothing to do with eternity. God's love is a very motivating thing. We did nothing to earn it, and I've been thinkin' a lot lately about how He gave it to us before we ever could have deserved it. How when Jesus got baptised and God's spirit came down as a dove to say God was well pleased, Jesus had not done *any* ministry at that point. When we really feel God's love how can we not love other people in light of that love?
4) I have also had on my mind a lot lately that we need to be careful with the Image of God we project to non-Christians. I don't believe in flat-out missionary stuff, just going out and preaching. I think that you have to develop real relationships with people to determine how to best "minister" to them, and often it's just by our being loving towards them. But I've noticed in my church background and also my family background that the fundamentalist types tend to portray an image of God to people, that tries to make them fear Hell or Eternity or Judgment. Frankly, if I had never been in the church and I was an unbeliever, that image would sure as hell (pun not intended) not make me want to further investigate this God dude. Many people, including myself, are not too concerned about what's *after* this life; what we really care about is this life and how this God person is going to effect it. So maybe we need to make sure people know that being a Christian is about God's unchanging love for us -- that can give us a sense of purpose and freedom and security, that has nothing to do with the afterlife and everything to do with this very instant.
5) *pulls out soapbox* I was thinking more about the blog that Tanya linked to in one of her latest entries about birth control. I am feeling very appreciative we live in a society and a culture where women have control over their destinies in a way we didn't used to. For a long time, the grand purpose of any woman was to bear a ton of children, obviously because we were in an agricultural period and families survived through having children to work. The bible was written in a time period where that's how women were seen, that was their duty. That's just how it was. To hold women in 2006 to ideas/standards from a completely different cultural context is just completely wrong. Progress is healthy, ideal, and *good* -- progress has taken human rights a lot closer to where they should be, than it was in bible times. This includes women and the opportunities they have at their disposal. We don't have to just be Moms now; it's not a forced thing. I'm sure motherhood is *wonderful* and may even discover that myself one day; but it's not the sole purpose for females anymore and it's not the only thing they can be. The power to control procreation is completely amazing when you look at the fact not so long ago, we couldn't even vote. That's progress! It's positive! Just because things aren't how they were in Bible times doesn't mean we're further from God's plan for us-- God's plan IS equal rights, human rights! Anyone who thinks that birth control is against God is highly mistaken, and I'd be willing to bet most of them are men, or women who have been put down so long by men they no longer think they can control their destinies and choices. Any man that thinks every time he gets some within a relationship/marriage, the couple [read: his wife or girlfriend] should be "open" to procreating from that experience, needs to push a 7 pound human being through his genitals. This blogger said that sex is for the purposes of oneness and procreation. And not only is that crap, but it's totally an old-school Catholic idea that is immensely outdated, overly simplistic. and this particular blogger implied it's sinful to want to have sex (with protection) during a woman's ovulation because you are denying one of the reasons to have sex to begin with. *chuckles a little* I mean, it's so archaic that I don't even think I need to justify it with a response.
I wish that birth control was passed around like Advil and was as easy to get ahold of. There would be so much less abortion, if women took charge of their sexuality and their right as a female to protect herself. I think it's inconscienable to deny her of that right or dissuade her from preventative measures to ensure she doesn't have a baby when she's not ready to... just because you are holding her to archaic standards from 2K years ago. If you're going to have an anti-birth control opinion, you better back it up with something.
Just my opinion, of course :) I'm glad to have read that blog because it got me thinking more about the subject, and that's always a good thing.. to form opinions and gain an awareness of issues.
*big smile*
Niles says: Sex stopped being for procreation once we started having complex emotions.
How much do I love this guy?!
6) I am going to go e-mail Altamash now (cute Pakistani guy that asked for my # the other day!). I want to reassure him a little, so that he'll have the nerve to actually call. We exchanged e-mails and numbers.
Later!!
posted by Oblivion.. at 12:40 PM
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