help, I'm stuck in the 90's!

.. I can't help it! It's my Launch cast's fault. I'm rather thankful for their playing "Leaving Las Vegas" (Sheryl), "Standing Outside a Broken Phonebooth w/ Money in my Hand" (Primitive Radio Gods), "Mr. Jones" (Counting Crows, of course), and... leaving the best for last... "Push" (Matchbox Twenty). Then to break the 90's thing, "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. Yaaaay.

I shall call today Day of the Good Music. Hehe. I brought a few cd's with me to work this morning - Dashboard, Motion City Soundtrack, and Vertical Horizon. So I have those waiting for this PM. My regular habit is to listen to Launch or now, Indie 103.1 in the AM, then after lunch, turn on some cds.

Oh, wow, now Jimmy Eat World. I <3 Launch.com!!:

on my life I'll try today,
there’s so much I've felt I should say,
but even if your heart would listen,
doubt I could explain...

Yesterday sucked. Any day that begins with me tumbling down a flight of stairs is doomed from the very freakin' start. It was not cool. I hurt my knee even worse and now it even hurts to walk, where before it just hurt to go up steps. Ugh. Then I found out the geometry teacher I have for this summer is the most incompetent bitch in the school, she's infamous for her being a terrible teacher. My friend Matt had her last semester and he said either don't waste my money or start drinking heavily. I feel completely and utterly screwed. Then, after getting home, showering, cleaning my room, and renting some movies because Altamash was coming over, he didn't show, and when he finally called an hour late, he said he'd gotten hit by some dumb drunk chick and his car was in really bad shape and he wouldn't be coming over. So, I kind of feel like things are doomed with him too, because so far our schedules have done nothing but collide and now when we tried to get together (we had it planned for like 2 weeks in advance), he gets in an accident. And frankly, when he didn't show, I was almost relieved. I just don't seem to care one way or the other about having a date with him or with anybody at this point. I'm tired all the time, my knee is killin' me, and I'm just cranky as hell and the last thing I feel like doing is trying to impress some dumb boy, and face it, 99% of them are just idiots that are just gonna hurt me anyway.

Ahhhh, but Better than Ezra's old version of "Lifetime" just came on, so all is well. *sigh* I seriously love this band so much. Honestly what would I do without music?

Anyhoo, yeah. Like those Bright Eyes lyrics say, love is just an excuse to get hurt and to hurt.. is there a point in that? I'm nearly 22. I've already been divorced.. I know what it's like to be married and to be half of a couple and frankly, I am doing okay being whole on my own. You know, I am a student and I work and I have friends and church commitments, and boys are a big ol' distraction and heartache on top of that. Sure, they're fun to make out with, and people like Niles and Jon are great to be best friends with but I've never had a lasting relationship that worked out so why would I think this dude Altamash or any guy would be any different? Wow, I'm pretty cynical. I guess I do believe eventually I will find the right person, but I don't think I'd be feeling utter indifference towards a broken date if the guy was anything truly special.

Instead, Jon came over and we watched Flightplan. It was nice. I fell asleep on his chest and I think he stayed til midnight, even though I was half-conscious after the movie ended at 10:40. I love it when he comes over at night because I really like not being alone falling asleep. I guess that's probably weird, but I got used to having someone else in bed with me when I was with He Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned for three years, so I got used to that.

I gotta go to class. The good one, not the evil math one. Later!