snowy morning!
We are, we are, intrigued
We are, we are, invisible
Oh how we shouted, how we screamed
Take notice, take interest, take me with you
When all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight
We're closing our caskets, cold and tight
But I'm dying to live.....
Yeeah, that's the song I'm listening to right now. I love Dashboard!
Ew.. it's snowing again.
Well, I had a pretty good weekend! Though, Saturday was a bummer of a morning. Niles and I had a really nice fight. It was awful. I'm not getting into the gory details but suffice it to say, I felt he was saying he didn't want to see me this weekend when he comes home, and he was just trying to say he doesn't want me to ditch a possible date with Altamash to see him. I was very, very wounded by what he said, but I also overreacted, despite the fact he worded it very insensitively. We've since made up. Saturday night I headed to church, not really wanting to be there but as soon as I saw my friends I was so happy I went. I found Fernando, Greg, Jen, and Fred in the lobby and then Andy found us, and he and I went in to get seats, so I got to sit next to him (yay). The sermon ended up being on loving your enemy, turning the other cheek.. which brings me to an interesting point:
I always thought the "turn the other cheek" thing meant be a victim, don't fight, etc. It doesn't! So the laws back then were basically that you could backhand someone with your right hand against their left cheek, in order to shame them. Husbands did it to their wives, masters to their slaves, whatever. When Jesus said to turn the other cheek after being struck, it meant to neither fight, nor flee, but to make it impossible for them to shame you further. See, it was against the law to strike with a fist and it was taboo and outlawed to strike someone with your left hand. So if you turned your cheek, your nose would get in the way and they would be unable to lawfully backhand you. My pastor said it's "the third way" - not to fight or flee but to turn the other cheek to stand up for yourself without returning violence for violence basically or not standing up for yourself at all. In turning your cheek, my pastor said Jesus was giving us intructions to reclaim our dignity, not to become victims. He also talked about arguments, which caused me major guilt cuz of the fight with Niles, and then he talked about grudges and how we have to face down our hurt and learn to love even people who hurt us. Reflection during worship brought up some unresolved hurts hangin' around from the divorce so I went up for prayer afterwards and ended up praying with a girl whose husband left her for another woman last summer. She was praying and asked God to help us forgive our exhusbands and not let them hold us hostage to anger and such.. and I was like, whoa, our exhusbands.. someone gets it. She looked maybe in her late 20's but I felt so glad to have someone who could understand. I didn't realize how much I needed empathy instead of sympathy. I felt better than I had in a long time after that.
After church, a biiiig group of us went out as a sort of goodbye party for our friend Nick. He's moving downstate most likely at the end of the week, so we took him to dinner and bowling. I ended up sitting across from this guy Greg at dinner, who I'd never talked to much before. He was a total sweetheart! He's 25, he is a surveyer (my dad did that for ten years when he was younger), a graduate from Niles' school. We had a very nice conversation, and I think I accidentally flirted a little with him.. he's not really my "type" - though he's tall and a little heavier set - he IS a nice guy, and that is a good thing. I guess we'll see, huh? I bowled terribly. My highest was like 100. Greg kicked my butt, he was well over 100 each time but I had a lot of fun anyway. I met this dude named Mark, and found out he goes to my school and lives like ten minutes from me, so that was kinda cool. After bowling ended at 11:30, we all (12 of us) went back to Jen's friend Alex's apartment to play Mafia. It was suuuuuper fun! We played til 2:30 and then Fred was like I'm starving.. is there an IHOP by here? And a bunch of us - Adrian, Fred, Jen, me, Alex, Greg, and Nick went to IHOP and ate til about 4am. It was pretty funny when I got home at 4:30 and I was locked out and I didn't have my housekey on me. Had to call my bro and make him let me in.. Ooops.
Slept til noon Sunday, then had some eggs and decided to make it a movie marathon day. The snow started coming down hard about 1 and that was the perfect excuse to spend the day curled up in bed. I made myself some tea, grabbed chocolate, lit candles, put in Silence of the Lambs, and buried myself underneath a heavy pink afghan. I looooooved the movie, totally, it's got to be one of my favorites. I had actually never seen it before, only clips from film class that we analyzed. I was soo impressed that I put in Hannibal after that, despite pausing it a bunch of times to make various snacks and look at dogs my mom was finding on ppetfinder.com, so it took me til about 7:30pm to get through it. It was suuuch a nice afternoon. I was just psyched to have that time to myself instead of always feeling like I have to say yes when people ask if I want to hang out.
Grey's Anatomy wasn't on. Stupid Oscars. Though, yay for "Crash" winning!!
Fell asleep around 11pm after watching "The L Word" on Showtime. It's a very controversial drama centering around the relationships and friendships of primary homosexuals [with the exception of two straight couples].. honestly, I watched it cuz I was intrigued by the idea, and I found it pretty entertaining. I found myself rooting for some of the couples, and feeling extreme sympathy for the characters, especially one girl who came out to her traditional mexican family and was told to leave the house. Eek. Anyway, it was interesting. Very well written, though I did fast forward a couple explicit scenes.
I have a headache. I think I need more caffeine... Bye!
We are, we are, invisible
Oh how we shouted, how we screamed
Take notice, take interest, take me with you
When all our fears fall on deaf ears tonight
We're closing our caskets, cold and tight
But I'm dying to live.....
Yeeah, that's the song I'm listening to right now. I love Dashboard!
Ew.. it's snowing again.
Well, I had a pretty good weekend! Though, Saturday was a bummer of a morning. Niles and I had a really nice fight. It was awful. I'm not getting into the gory details but suffice it to say, I felt he was saying he didn't want to see me this weekend when he comes home, and he was just trying to say he doesn't want me to ditch a possible date with Altamash to see him. I was very, very wounded by what he said, but I also overreacted, despite the fact he worded it very insensitively. We've since made up. Saturday night I headed to church, not really wanting to be there but as soon as I saw my friends I was so happy I went. I found Fernando, Greg, Jen, and Fred in the lobby and then Andy found us, and he and I went in to get seats, so I got to sit next to him (yay). The sermon ended up being on loving your enemy, turning the other cheek.. which brings me to an interesting point:
I always thought the "turn the other cheek" thing meant be a victim, don't fight, etc. It doesn't! So the laws back then were basically that you could backhand someone with your right hand against their left cheek, in order to shame them. Husbands did it to their wives, masters to their slaves, whatever. When Jesus said to turn the other cheek after being struck, it meant to neither fight, nor flee, but to make it impossible for them to shame you further. See, it was against the law to strike with a fist and it was taboo and outlawed to strike someone with your left hand. So if you turned your cheek, your nose would get in the way and they would be unable to lawfully backhand you. My pastor said it's "the third way" - not to fight or flee but to turn the other cheek to stand up for yourself without returning violence for violence basically or not standing up for yourself at all. In turning your cheek, my pastor said Jesus was giving us intructions to reclaim our dignity, not to become victims. He also talked about arguments, which caused me major guilt cuz of the fight with Niles, and then he talked about grudges and how we have to face down our hurt and learn to love even people who hurt us. Reflection during worship brought up some unresolved hurts hangin' around from the divorce so I went up for prayer afterwards and ended up praying with a girl whose husband left her for another woman last summer. She was praying and asked God to help us forgive our exhusbands and not let them hold us hostage to anger and such.. and I was like, whoa, our exhusbands.. someone gets it. She looked maybe in her late 20's but I felt so glad to have someone who could understand. I didn't realize how much I needed empathy instead of sympathy. I felt better than I had in a long time after that.
After church, a biiiig group of us went out as a sort of goodbye party for our friend Nick. He's moving downstate most likely at the end of the week, so we took him to dinner and bowling. I ended up sitting across from this guy Greg at dinner, who I'd never talked to much before. He was a total sweetheart! He's 25, he is a surveyer (my dad did that for ten years when he was younger), a graduate from Niles' school. We had a very nice conversation, and I think I accidentally flirted a little with him.. he's not really my "type" - though he's tall and a little heavier set - he IS a nice guy, and that is a good thing. I guess we'll see, huh? I bowled terribly. My highest was like 100. Greg kicked my butt, he was well over 100 each time but I had a lot of fun anyway. I met this dude named Mark, and found out he goes to my school and lives like ten minutes from me, so that was kinda cool. After bowling ended at 11:30, we all (12 of us) went back to Jen's friend Alex's apartment to play Mafia. It was suuuuuper fun! We played til 2:30 and then Fred was like I'm starving.. is there an IHOP by here? And a bunch of us - Adrian, Fred, Jen, me, Alex, Greg, and Nick went to IHOP and ate til about 4am. It was pretty funny when I got home at 4:30 and I was locked out and I didn't have my housekey on me. Had to call my bro and make him let me in.. Ooops.
Slept til noon Sunday, then had some eggs and decided to make it a movie marathon day. The snow started coming down hard about 1 and that was the perfect excuse to spend the day curled up in bed. I made myself some tea, grabbed chocolate, lit candles, put in Silence of the Lambs, and buried myself underneath a heavy pink afghan. I looooooved the movie, totally, it's got to be one of my favorites. I had actually never seen it before, only clips from film class that we analyzed. I was soo impressed that I put in Hannibal after that, despite pausing it a bunch of times to make various snacks and look at dogs my mom was finding on ppetfinder.com, so it took me til about 7:30pm to get through it. It was suuuch a nice afternoon. I was just psyched to have that time to myself instead of always feeling like I have to say yes when people ask if I want to hang out.
Grey's Anatomy wasn't on. Stupid Oscars. Though, yay for "Crash" winning!!
Fell asleep around 11pm after watching "The L Word" on Showtime. It's a very controversial drama centering around the relationships and friendships of primary homosexuals [with the exception of two straight couples].. honestly, I watched it cuz I was intrigued by the idea, and I found it pretty entertaining. I found myself rooting for some of the couples, and feeling extreme sympathy for the characters, especially one girl who came out to her traditional mexican family and was told to leave the house. Eek. Anyway, it was interesting. Very well written, though I did fast forward a couple explicit scenes.
I have a headache. I think I need more caffeine... Bye!
posted by Oblivion.. at 10:08 AM
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