along the edges colors blur and seem familiar...
... while you read your magazine,
I was counting all the markers
and California seemed to draw you like a siren
from a postcard, or a letter, in a frame of film melting..
but under you, I hear your breath move in, out slowly
Under you, let go completely,
feeling you take over me...
Ahh.. couldn't think of a snazzy title for this post so just put down what song I'm listening to.. (Better than Ezra.. *happy sigh*)
I hesitantly announce this morning that spring is on it's way to Chicago. Seems way too good to be true, but this weekend was downright glorious, and this morning it's already almost sixty degrees outside, with a nice breeze and bright blue skies. Kind of unbelievable for March 13th but who's complaining?!
Weekend.. was good! Friday I had off, and I can't even recall what all I did, except that I went to the chiropractor (I think) and they fixed me, and then I sat around almost all afternoon and watched Firefly on Scifi. Sooo good! I was waiting to hear from my friend Bill... we met on MySpace last summer and hung out several times, but he goes to school in Davenport, Iowa, so I can only see him on breaks. He called at 4 and I headed out to his house in Wheaton, right by Niles' house. Seeing him was wonderful as always; we talked and commiserated about our recent break ups and went to a little theater in Naperville to see Fun with Dick and Jane, which ended up being pretty hilarious. On my way home I called Niles cuz I was driving straight past his house to get home, but he didn't answer (several times), and I got my mind set on thinking he was just ignoring my call and didn't want to see me or something. Got home.. saw that he was online.. finally told him I had called him and he said his cell hadn't been by him, so that's good, I guess. Then Jon came over-- we grabbed milkshakes and rented Elizabethtown but he was asleep within the first twenty minutes. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten so cozy. I ended up falling asleep halfway through, too. I finished the movie last night, though, and it was all right - not the best movie I've seen, and some of the dialogue was just odd but still decent.
Saturday.. I cleaned the crap out of my car. It was a flippin gorgeous 60-something day and I just got the motivation. It took me hours. I vacuumed, washed the car, Fantastik-ed the interior, even cleaned out the cupholders full of disgusting dried-pop goo. Then I headed to church. Only about half of our "group" showed up, and I ended up sitting with Fernando and Andy. The band played a new worship song that included lyrics that said, "I am full of earth and dirt and You" and "You are holy, holy God, I want to be holy like you are.." and then switched to "I am wholly wholly Yours". I really loved it! It had lyrics about spring and how flowers push through the dirt, and cool stuff like that. I love relating nature to God and I especially feel that way about spring and the rebirth that faithfully happens every spring. The message was on the parable in Luke about the seeds and trying to gauge the "soil of our soul" - whether it's in a state that is open to God or not. Talked a bit about purpose, and the pastor posed the question of what are we going to do with our one and only life. It was great. Afterwards, I went over to "the living room" (a casual group of people there for discussion and stuff..). We played some games and then lots of us went over to Culver's for dinner and we went rollerskating. OMG, rollerskating... haven't done that since junior high, and it was completely nuts but it was so much fun!! I took Andy and Fernando in my now-clean car and discovered Fernando likes the same kind of music as I do - we're going to be concert buddies if Matchbox or 3 Doors Down come back to town :) We stayed out til about 10:30 and then I headed home and threw myself in a quick cold shower cuz I felt groooooss!
As I was walking past the front door in my towel, someone knocked. I was expecting Niles, so I let him in and he was like, "Wow.. this is so cliche".. haha. It was hilarious. I didn't want Ty barking, and it was no big deal. But yeah, we watched part of a movie on Tv.. and ended up kissing and stuff til after 1am. Don't ask me why I do this to myself, I just can't say no, nor do I want to, even though I know it doesn't mean anything to him (and it probably does mean something to me). Maybe it makes the loss seem like less than a loss. I try not to analyze my own actions too much anymore. Let's leave it as, it was nice seeing him :)
Sunday AM.. woke up bright and early and.. happy. I got ready for the day and headed over to Niles' house, making a stop at Starbucks for a venti caramel frapuccino and they accidentally made a vanilla one instead - and they gave me both. So I had a few sips of the vanilla and saved the rest for Niles. By the time I reached his house I was pretty much bouncing off the walls haha. It was great. We went to his church, St. Paul, and it was soo good to see his Mom - she was teaching the message, which ended up being freakin' fantastic - talking about starvation in the world and how God would have us act in the face of a world that is suffering. Just amazing. All of the words (I don't know what they are called.. where the pastor says something and then the congregation replies with things like "Also with you" or "Praise be to God" and stuff.. I'm not Lutheran so I don't know!) were really beautiful. I wish I had kept the booklet but this guy asked me if I was done with it and I said yes and he took it to recycle :( booo. Then Niles and I went to downtown Wheaton and took a rather blissful walk as we waited for a table at a restaurant.
I headed home and the rest of the day I pretty much read a book, cleaned up a little, caught up with Liz (who's back from Ireland, yay!) online, watched the rest of Elizabethtown.. oh, quote time:
"It takes time to extract joy from life."
I really liked that line. I think the movie tried to be really inspirational but it felt like there were chunks missing in it, like I couldn't follow the storyline cuz it bounced around. It was very much Cameron Crowe though - visually beautiful and the soundtrack was absolutely amazing! I guess Kirsten Dunst made a lot of the music suggestions/choices; she's got great taste!
Wow, in the time it's taken to type this up, the weather has gone from serene and beautiful to dark skies and about 30mph wind. Nuts! That's Chicago spring, though. It's unpredictible and I love that. Last night we had the most glorious thunderstorms. Tornados accompanied them down in Springfield, our capital, which is about four hours south of here. I was talkin to Rob online last night (he's in Champaign, about 2.5 hrs south) and they had some really nasty stuff going through. I was sorta envious! We had a great storm here, though. I stayed up til after midnight staring out the window and listening to the rain and thunder. I only briefly wished Niles was there with me, so that's a sort of victory.
Ah, this is the perfect spring/summer song: This Time of Year...
Well, there's a feeling in the air
Just like a Friday afternoon
Yeah, you can go there if you want
Though it fades too soon
So go on, let it be
If there's a feeling coming over me,
Seems like it's always understood this time of year
Well, I know there's a reason to change
Well, I know there's a time for us
You think about the good times
And you live with all the bad
You can feel it in the air
Feeling right this time of year
I sit and watch your flowers
wilting in the kitchen
I felt like I was one of them
gasping for air
I go from room to room
hoping to find your presence(?)
I play my music louder than you'd like me to...
the Cd reminds me of last summer, laying on a little raft in my pool in the backyard just singing like crazy. It was a lot of fun. I felt pretty careless- I suppose it's cuz I was off work in the month of July and had a totally fantastic time relaxing. I miss that feeling! I miss laying in the pool in the sun :)
Anyway, I gotta go. It's busy in here.
I was counting all the markers
and California seemed to draw you like a siren
from a postcard, or a letter, in a frame of film melting..
but under you, I hear your breath move in, out slowly
Under you, let go completely,
feeling you take over me...
Ahh.. couldn't think of a snazzy title for this post so just put down what song I'm listening to.. (Better than Ezra.. *happy sigh*)
I hesitantly announce this morning that spring is on it's way to Chicago. Seems way too good to be true, but this weekend was downright glorious, and this morning it's already almost sixty degrees outside, with a nice breeze and bright blue skies. Kind of unbelievable for March 13th but who's complaining?!
Weekend.. was good! Friday I had off, and I can't even recall what all I did, except that I went to the chiropractor (I think) and they fixed me, and then I sat around almost all afternoon and watched Firefly on Scifi. Sooo good! I was waiting to hear from my friend Bill... we met on MySpace last summer and hung out several times, but he goes to school in Davenport, Iowa, so I can only see him on breaks. He called at 4 and I headed out to his house in Wheaton, right by Niles' house. Seeing him was wonderful as always; we talked and commiserated about our recent break ups and went to a little theater in Naperville to see Fun with Dick and Jane, which ended up being pretty hilarious. On my way home I called Niles cuz I was driving straight past his house to get home, but he didn't answer (several times), and I got my mind set on thinking he was just ignoring my call and didn't want to see me or something. Got home.. saw that he was online.. finally told him I had called him and he said his cell hadn't been by him, so that's good, I guess. Then Jon came over-- we grabbed milkshakes and rented Elizabethtown but he was asleep within the first twenty minutes. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten so cozy. I ended up falling asleep halfway through, too. I finished the movie last night, though, and it was all right - not the best movie I've seen, and some of the dialogue was just odd but still decent.
Saturday.. I cleaned the crap out of my car. It was a flippin gorgeous 60-something day and I just got the motivation. It took me hours. I vacuumed, washed the car, Fantastik-ed the interior, even cleaned out the cupholders full of disgusting dried-pop goo. Then I headed to church. Only about half of our "group" showed up, and I ended up sitting with Fernando and Andy. The band played a new worship song that included lyrics that said, "I am full of earth and dirt and You" and "You are holy, holy God, I want to be holy like you are.." and then switched to "I am wholly wholly Yours". I really loved it! It had lyrics about spring and how flowers push through the dirt, and cool stuff like that. I love relating nature to God and I especially feel that way about spring and the rebirth that faithfully happens every spring. The message was on the parable in Luke about the seeds and trying to gauge the "soil of our soul" - whether it's in a state that is open to God or not. Talked a bit about purpose, and the pastor posed the question of what are we going to do with our one and only life. It was great. Afterwards, I went over to "the living room" (a casual group of people there for discussion and stuff..). We played some games and then lots of us went over to Culver's for dinner and we went rollerskating. OMG, rollerskating... haven't done that since junior high, and it was completely nuts but it was so much fun!! I took Andy and Fernando in my now-clean car and discovered Fernando likes the same kind of music as I do - we're going to be concert buddies if Matchbox or 3 Doors Down come back to town :) We stayed out til about 10:30 and then I headed home and threw myself in a quick cold shower cuz I felt groooooss!
As I was walking past the front door in my towel, someone knocked. I was expecting Niles, so I let him in and he was like, "Wow.. this is so cliche".. haha. It was hilarious. I didn't want Ty barking, and it was no big deal. But yeah, we watched part of a movie on Tv.. and ended up kissing and stuff til after 1am. Don't ask me why I do this to myself, I just can't say no, nor do I want to, even though I know it doesn't mean anything to him (and it probably does mean something to me). Maybe it makes the loss seem like less than a loss. I try not to analyze my own actions too much anymore. Let's leave it as, it was nice seeing him :)
Sunday AM.. woke up bright and early and.. happy. I got ready for the day and headed over to Niles' house, making a stop at Starbucks for a venti caramel frapuccino and they accidentally made a vanilla one instead - and they gave me both. So I had a few sips of the vanilla and saved the rest for Niles. By the time I reached his house I was pretty much bouncing off the walls haha. It was great. We went to his church, St. Paul, and it was soo good to see his Mom - she was teaching the message, which ended up being freakin' fantastic - talking about starvation in the world and how God would have us act in the face of a world that is suffering. Just amazing. All of the words (I don't know what they are called.. where the pastor says something and then the congregation replies with things like "Also with you" or "Praise be to God" and stuff.. I'm not Lutheran so I don't know!) were really beautiful. I wish I had kept the booklet but this guy asked me if I was done with it and I said yes and he took it to recycle :( booo. Then Niles and I went to downtown Wheaton and took a rather blissful walk as we waited for a table at a restaurant.
I headed home and the rest of the day I pretty much read a book, cleaned up a little, caught up with Liz (who's back from Ireland, yay!) online, watched the rest of Elizabethtown.. oh, quote time:
"It takes time to extract joy from life."
I really liked that line. I think the movie tried to be really inspirational but it felt like there were chunks missing in it, like I couldn't follow the storyline cuz it bounced around. It was very much Cameron Crowe though - visually beautiful and the soundtrack was absolutely amazing! I guess Kirsten Dunst made a lot of the music suggestions/choices; she's got great taste!
Wow, in the time it's taken to type this up, the weather has gone from serene and beautiful to dark skies and about 30mph wind. Nuts! That's Chicago spring, though. It's unpredictible and I love that. Last night we had the most glorious thunderstorms. Tornados accompanied them down in Springfield, our capital, which is about four hours south of here. I was talkin to Rob online last night (he's in Champaign, about 2.5 hrs south) and they had some really nasty stuff going through. I was sorta envious! We had a great storm here, though. I stayed up til after midnight staring out the window and listening to the rain and thunder. I only briefly wished Niles was there with me, so that's a sort of victory.
Ah, this is the perfect spring/summer song: This Time of Year...
Well, there's a feeling in the air
Just like a Friday afternoon
Yeah, you can go there if you want
Though it fades too soon
So go on, let it be
If there's a feeling coming over me,
Seems like it's always understood this time of year
Well, I know there's a reason to change
Well, I know there's a time for us
You think about the good times
And you live with all the bad
You can feel it in the air
Feeling right this time of year
I sit and watch your flowers
wilting in the kitchen
I felt like I was one of them
gasping for air
I go from room to room
hoping to find your presence(?)
I play my music louder than you'd like me to...
the Cd reminds me of last summer, laying on a little raft in my pool in the backyard just singing like crazy. It was a lot of fun. I felt pretty careless- I suppose it's cuz I was off work in the month of July and had a totally fantastic time relaxing. I miss that feeling! I miss laying in the pool in the sun :)
Anyway, I gotta go. It's busy in here.
posted by Oblivion.. at 9:53 AM
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